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 ON CRITICS, A
CAT AND NOT WORRYING ABOUT TOMORROW
This is my final column for fab. I shouldn’t
be surprised. This is the third editor we’ve had in the two years
I’ve been here and it was inevitable that someone would eventually
want to do something fresh with the magazine. Being informed that
my musings would no longer be needed by email was a bit like being
broken up with over the phone— but I have plenty of experience with
both, so no hard feelings.
It’s been an amazing ride—and very satisfying. My only real
dilemma was, not coming up with
subjects to write about, but choosing
which ones to pursue. For a longform
writer who usually
specializes in plays, screenplays
and television episodes, writing
these essays is the marathon
runner’s equivalent of
doing the 100-yard
dash every couple of
weeks just to stay in
shape. The form
might be shorter but
the effort is no less
intense.
Which is not to say
that every article has been
100% successful; looking
back at the work there are a few columns I would seriously
rethink. An early piece about Segways still makes me
cringe and my feelings on Pride’s annual Dyke March—while
an event I still vehemently object to as counter to the spirit of
the celebration—might have been expressed with more sensitivity.
On the other hand, I’ve also taken a look at some controversial
subjects (ex-gays, “safe” queer spaces and bareback porn) and
provided a perspective that sidesteps the disturbingly one-sided
approach often found in the gay press.
When I started this column I promised opinions worthy of
debate and I hope I didn’t disappoint. However, if success is
judged by reader response, then there’s no doubt that my most
successful columns were about theatre reviewers and dying pets.
Turning the excessive negativity and highly suspect opinions of
The Globe and Mail’s Kamal Al-Solaylee (now thankfully
inflicting his mediocrity on films) and the Toronto Star’s Richard
Ouzounian (unfortunately still inflicting his mediocrity on the
theatre) back onto themselves was not only fun, but it also garnered
the second highest response to anything I’ve ever written. Interestingly,
no one rose to their defence and, more tellingly, many who contacted
me asked not to be identified for fear of later repercussions. A
fear well justified. Take it from me.
Writing about the final days of my cat Spooz was one of the
most difficult things I’ve ever committed to paper but the
overwhelmingly compassionate response from readers made it
worth the effort. The reaction to that particular column reminded
me that, while it’s great to discuss the huge issues, the simple,
emotional stories often have the most resonance.
My biggest frustration with leaving fab at this point is
the fact that there are still so many things I want to talk about.
The entire planet, including the gay world, just seems to get more
fucked up every day and sometimes I feel like one of a very few
people who get pissed off enough to try to cut through the bullshit
and look at any given issue with logic and a touch of humour. I’ll
miss those opportunities but thankfully I’ve got a great deal of
other work to keep me busy. In the meantime here are three final
thoughts I’d like to share with you before I make my exit.
• Gay is a gift. While the jealous
majority does their best to minimize the very thing that makes us
special, it’s important to remember that being gay, like being given
the ability to draw, sing or excel at certain sports, is bestowed
on a relatively small number of people and how we choose to use
that gift defines who we are.
• We’re all different and we’re all
alike. There’s no right or wrong sexuality any more than there’s
a right or wrong lifestyle. Words like gay, lesbian, straight, bi
and trans do not sum up the entirety of sexual/intimate relations
and the wide variety of experiences they encompass. We can all afford
to spend less time trying to force other people into our way of
thinking and more time embracing the ambiguities and inconsistencies
that make us human.
• Stop worrying about tomorrow. We’ve all got enough shit to
be concerned with today.
It’s been a blast. Thanks for listening.
 brad
fraser
www.bradfraser.net
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